How about maybe things don't just "happen for a reason?"
There are far more annoying things to have a pet peeve about, for sure, but this is one of mine: the phrase "everything happens for a reason."
It's a cop out. At least when it comes to things we have the power to attain - goals, relationships, health, a billion dollars, etc.
We say it in hindsight as a consolation for a shitty outcome. I didn't get that job because it just wasn't meant to be.
We say it to take the pressure off of something we want in the future. If x doesn't work out, it's because y will happen and that will be better anyway!
We even say it when something positive happens that we've worked our very own assess of for and attribute it to this Mystery Reason!
This way of thinking glosses over our roles in our decisions, the subsequent outcomes, and the real work we need to do to analyze them and decide how to proceed.
Mark Manson says it best in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck:
This isn't about thinking we can control everything that happens in our lives because HAH! It's about acknowledging that what we can control, our decisions, are 100% our responsibility. What an incredible power that is. Let's own it. Mystery Reason should not get all the blame for the failures, nor all the credit for the victories.
And the most important thing to focus on is not the event that has or hasn't happened, but what we've learned and what we're going to do about it.
It's a cop out. At least when it comes to things we have the power to attain - goals, relationships, health, a billion dollars, etc.
We say it in hindsight as a consolation for a shitty outcome. I didn't get that job because it just wasn't meant to be.
We say it to take the pressure off of something we want in the future. If x doesn't work out, it's because y will happen and that will be better anyway!
We even say it when something positive happens that we've worked our very own assess of for and attribute it to this Mystery Reason!
This way of thinking glosses over our roles in our decisions, the subsequent outcomes, and the real work we need to do to analyze them and decide how to proceed.
Mark Manson says it best in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck:
"We don't always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we are always responsible for our experiences. It's impossible not to be. Choosing to not consciously interpret events in our lives is still an interpretation of the events in our lives... it's your responsibility to interpret the meaning of the event and choose a response."YES.
This isn't about thinking we can control everything that happens in our lives because HAH! It's about acknowledging that what we can control, our decisions, are 100% our responsibility. What an incredible power that is. Let's own it. Mystery Reason should not get all the blame for the failures, nor all the credit for the victories.
And the most important thing to focus on is not the event that has or hasn't happened, but what we've learned and what we're going to do about it.
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